Life is short. Live it.

It has taken me days to write this. I keep adding to it and taking things out...it's not perfect...but that's ok. Life is full of imperfect things.  You have to take the good, the bad and the ugly parts of life and try to find a happy medium to make the most of it. There is good all around when you take the time to look for it. 

My best friend passed away. She fought hard for 14 months and on July 2nd, she took her last breath. She was suffering. She was tired. She gave it her all. I admire her strength more than she will ever know. I will miss her greatly. Her smile, her laugh, how she would get really loud as she got more and more into a story she was excited about sharing....the way she understood me. How we were so similar in so many ways and complimented each other nicely.  I miss her.  I've missed her for the past 14 months and I will miss her forever.

Melissa was born on August 14, 1984.  She was a beautiful young woman inside and out.  On July 16, 2011, Melissa married the love of her life. We planned together for months leading up to the wedding.  I helped her pick out the perfect hair accessories, and I even went with her and her mother when she put the deposit down on her wedding dress. I was honored that Melissa asked me to be a part of such an important part of her life.  Her wedding day was lovely.  A sunny and HOT July day.  We left the hair salon that morning with sweat pouring off of us, arrived at her parents house and freshened up.  I remember how excited she was.  We wore purple.  She looked gorgeous.  As we boarded the limo, the sweat started again...our flowers were limp and I remember telling another bridesmaid to hold them upside down so Melissa wouldn't be able to tell how limp they had gotten.  I wanted her to have the picture perfect day she envisioned.  The ceremony was beautiful.  I cried.  We took pictures after outside in the gardens of the University campus where Melissa received her masters degree. It was so hot out.  We arrived at the ballroom, all lit up in purple, where we danced the night away as she and her husband celebrated their first night as husband and wife.  It was an amazing day and night.  School started up again in the fall and Melissa would take my son after drama on Thursdays and hold him for me at the school until I would get there from work.  No matter how busy I was with the kids, Melissa understood and wanted to be able to help me in any way she could.  She loved spending time with my boys.  The Thursday before Memorial Day 2011, I pulled into the parking lot with Carter and she walked Nikolas out to my car.  We talked for a bit and she showed me two pairs of sunglasses she just ordered and was debating on which ones to keep.  That was the last time I conversed with her face to face.  She was laughing, and hanging in my car window.  She commented on my boobs looking amazing, I was very early in my 1st tri, pregnant with Teagan, and just getting ready to share my news, so they did look amazing!  Friday evening Nikolas had a baseball game, I don't remember much of that day.  Saturday morning I woke up and was getting dressed to go to a Memorial Day bbq when Rickey called me with the news that Melissa was headed by helicopter to Jersey Shore Medical Center and they didn't know what was wrong with her.  I spend the first few months of her illness sitting at the hospital by her side at night after I would get my children settled.  It got harder as football season took over and I became more pregnant.  Then I had Teagan and the trials of  three children took over so I didn't get to see her as often as I wanted to.  She was in a facility over an hour away and it was difficult.  They moved her down here just two weeks ago on hospice, and she ended up passing away in our local hospital July 2, 2013.  Her funeral services were just this past Friday.  She looked so beautiful.  So peaceful.  After seeing how badly she was suffering in the hospital, it was a sign of relief to see her look so pretty.  It was hard, and blurry and I couldn't believe I was at the funeral of my best friend.  Saturday was the mass, the same church she was married in.  That was hard.  Standing outside the cemetery, the sun beating down on us, it was HOT.  Another hot July day.  Funny how the world works.  I'm trying to find peace within her peace.  I'm trying to see that even though it sucks, this was God's plan.  But boy, life is unfair and I'm sure going to miss her.

Until we meet again, please watch over me and my babies.  I love you Melissa.  Xoxo