I can't sleep...

Here I am. 1:00 am the morning that I get induced. I really, and I do mean REALLY should be sleeping right now, I just have a million things running through my head. I am so anxious and nervous and excited. I have waited the last 9 months + some for this very moment and now that it's here it's so surreal. I don't know how to feel. I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I just can't believe this day has come. October 29, 2009. Today is Carter's birthday.

He's unusually active tonight. Rolling all around, sticking his little parts out all over. One "Last Hurrah" I suppose ;) I finally got our Fetal Doppler out and recorded his heart beat onto the computer so I can cherish what he sounded like while he was in my belly forever. It only took me 39.5 weeks and the night before I get induced to get my butt in gear, but I got it :)
I took a LOOOONG bath and shower and scrubbed my body with exfoliator. I wanted to rid my skin of anything yucky that Carter could come in contact with, I told you, my mind is thinking some pretty odd things this evening.

My bags are packed. I hope I didn't forget anything. I just have to grab Carter's things and I am ready to go. I can't wait to see his tiny little face. Will he look like me, Nick, Niky??? The u/s tech said he had really big feet when we went for the EFW measurement on Monday, lol. Around 7 cm to be exact, I can't wait to see them!!! It explains all the jabs that I get in my right side.

I feel bad that I am leaving Niky to stay in the hospital. I know that's silly, and Niky will be with my parents and is going to have a WONDERFUL time with his aunt and uncle (they are 9 and 12), but I just feel bad still. I hope he doesn't think that I will ever love Carter more than I love him...or that Carter is replacing him in any way. I know it's foolish for me to think this way, but I can't help it. Niky has been my one and only baby boy for the past 7 years. He is my world. Now I am just sharing my world with another great little boy-his brother.

Alright, it's really getting late, and I NEED to get some rest. My next post will be the most beautiful one yet. Carter will be here.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
XOXOXO
Danielle

Carter:
We have loved you from the moment the second line appeared on the pregnancy test. Mommy, Daddy and your Big Brother Niky have been waiting for you and praying for you for a very long time. The time has come that you are ready to come out and we welcome you with open arms. Niky has had a countdown going for over a week now. He kisses you in my belly and tells me how excited he is that you will be here soon. I talk to you every day, I rub my belly and cradle you, I tell you how much you are loved. Daddy has been a nervous wreck, he's so excited to meet you. Everything is ready. Later today I will hold you in my arms little one. I've been waiting for this moment for the past year and a half. God has answered my prayers. I love you. I can't wait to see.
Love you forever and always:
Mommy